Is that a black pudding in your pocket or are you just really cross to see me?
My imagination began to run wild when I heard the beginning of this report on the radio news today. I mean, what images spring into your mind when you hear that someone was in court, charged with behaving aggressively with a black pudding?
It came as a disappointment to find he'd simply hurled it across a room in a fit of rage. I'd hoped at the very least for something like Bill Oddie's martial arts exploits as a practitioner of Ecky Thump: