Eine Kleine Nichtmusik

Witty and pertinent observations on matters of great significance OR Incoherent jottings on total irrelevancies OR Something else altogether OR All of the above

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

To quote Roger Waters, "You're nearly a laugh but you're really a cry"

If that last post was a tad downbeat, a visit to Uncle Jimmy's ludicrous blog can normally be relied upon to bring a smile to my face. Over the past few days he's been dealing with the situation in Libya. (Here, here and here.)

You might think it's hard to make that funny, but Jimmy views the whole thing through his little mental letter-box of Tony Blair Worship. So it's all a question of what Tony said to Gaddafi then, and what Tony may have said to Gaddafi's son then, and why the wicked British press reported this and why the wicked BBC didn't report that, and....FFS! Does he imagine anyone cares what a washed-up self-promoter thinks of Gaddafi or Libya? Well, clearly he does:

Intriguing how the world’s foremost statesman is a Brit; the Quartet’s Middle East envoy is a Brit; the man who knows from personal political experience Libya’s/Gaddafi’s position on the USA, the EU and the rest of the world is a Brit. They are all the same man.

That's right: Tony Blair, "the world's foremost statesman". You couldn't make it up. You don'lt need to, though: Jimmy did.


He does get one thing right about TB:

It’s almost as though Mr Blair is seen as already damaged goods

Almost? Blair was seen as damaged goods when he was still Prime Minister, which is why he was sacked.


Of course, no post of Jimmy's would be complete without the obligatory sideswipe at those who just don't get it . Take Sir Richard Dalton, former British Ambassador to Libya:

Excerpt, in relation to Blair’s thoughts on the threat from Iran, January 2010:

Dalton: “We should be making it much clearer that the principal criteria for UK involvement in future wars in the Middle East is whether or not the safety and security of the United Kingdom and its territory is directly threatened.

Compared with today in The Telegraph:

Dalton: “Amid the uncertainties, Britain and its partners must explore actively and seriously how international armed humanitarian intervention could be undertaken urgently.”

So, Dalton considers that Libya is a threat to the safety and security of the UK and yet Iran is not!?


Well, as there were British nationals whose lives were at risk in Libya (Jimmy makes sarcastic comments about their rescue elsewhere), while Iran poses no threat to Britons either in Iran or at home, yes, I think he probably does, Jim.

In the meantime, give me strength! Or at least diplomats with intellectual consistency.

How do these diplomats get those jobs?


Well, gosh, Jimmy, I don't know. Being British is a good start. Knowing that Libya is in North Africa not the Middle East, hence that there is no contradiction whatsoever between the two statements you quote: even better. Not bandying around the phrase "cognitive dissonance" as a general synonym for "opinions I don't care for": priceless.

Oh, and maybe the odd dash of morality (though I'll grant that's not a necessary qualification). Jimmy certainly fails on that one too:

David Cameron misjudged on his trade expedition when the focus was bound to be on those from the Defence Industry. In my opinion this was just bad timing, not bad policy. Trade makes the world go round.

As for reducing our Defence Industry, that will be far more painful for the government and all of us to deal with. But I expect and hope for at least some backtracking.

The Human Rights debate is puerile. Of course human rights were pressed by the previous government and by all British governments over decades. But never to the extent of distancing trade partnerships. That is the policy of the purist. The poor, starving purist.

That's right. Human rights must NEVER be allowed to get in the way of making money in any way possible, including supplying advanced weaponry to military dictators. It's the American Way, and Jimmy clearly thinks we should adopt it too.

OK, that's not funny, that's just sickening.

Oh, and for another sideswipe, he takes at face value the self-serving "Look! I'm important! Don't hit me!" comments of Gaddafi's former Justice Minister, that Gaddafi personally ordered the Lockerbie bombing. (This must make him almost the only man in the world apart from a few American fruitcakes to continue believing that it was Libya and not Iran which carried out the bombing. Oh well.) Jimmy, who wouldn't normally give Gaddafi's gaoler-in-chief the time of day, uses this to have a go at Nelson Mandela of all people. "Mandela - the world-class mediator & friend of freedom (and Gaddafi)." "The saintly Mandela." And of course we mustn't omit good old guilt by association:

Mandela was the first award winner of the Al Gaddafi International Prize for Human Rights in 1989, an annual prize founded by Gaddafi himself (Other recipients include Louis Farrakhan, Cuba’s Fidel Castro, Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez, and Turkey’s Erdogan).

Why would Jimmy dislike Mandela so much? The fact that (unlike some folk dear to Jimmy;s heart) he overthrew a vile regime without massive slaughter? That (unlike those folk) he encouraged the supporters of that regime to stay and help build the country anew, rather than purging them all from any positions of influence? That he realised (unlike some people) that the people who had actually been running the country before from day to day would be needed to run it in the future? And that he did all this despite (unlike some people) actually having suffered terribly at the hands of the ousted regime? Yes, I suppose there must be a lot for a Blair fan to resent in Nelson Mandela.

Of course, we know that Jimmy hates Barack Obama as well. I suppose he and Mandela have something in common that would annoy Jimmy, though I just can't seem to put my finger on it. We know, of course - because he tells us so himself - that it can't be anything to do with their being, um, pigmentally differentiated:

I am no racist - never have been, never will be. Just isn't in my DNA.

Ah yes: perish the thought that Jimmy might have imperfect DNA.

Which brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation, etc etc, back to where I began.

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