Eine Kleine Nichtmusik

Witty and pertinent observations on matters of great significance OR Incoherent jottings on total irrelevancies OR Something else altogether OR All of the above

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Brothers In Arms

It is a rare week when one can look at the news and see the similarities between Tommy Sheridan and Uncle Jimmy laid bare. Oh sure, Sheridan is Scottish and Jimmy claims to be (Glaswegian indeed), and both are batshit-insane conspiracy theorists. One claims to be a socialist and has spent much of his career attemting to destroy socialism in Scotland. The other is a fervent supporter of another Scot who once claimed to be a socialist and then in one of the most blatant pieces of entryism in political history destroyed the Labour Party (and had a good try at killing off the trade union movement).

But this week Tom of the Thousand Days and his supporters were blaming his three-year sentence in HM Prison, Barlinnie as a consequence, not of his lying his face off in a court of law in order to trouser a huge amount of cash, but of wicked collusion between the police, the judges and the media to prevent him from speaking out on the evils of...whatever is evil this week.

Uncle Jimmy, meanwhile, has been complaining of a similar conspiracy between the ignorant leftist media and the police, which has prevented poor Tony Blair from appearing in places without wicked protestors spoiling his day by reminding him of the hundreds of thousands of dead people sacrificed to prop up his ego. According to Jimmy, poor Tony is effectively in "internal exile", just like the suspected terrorists under Control Orders. There are a few problems with that analysis, as my readers will already have spotted. Apart from the fact that the only restrictions on TB's movements are wholly voluntary and arise from his disinclination - as ever - to face criticism, the main flaw is surely that for exile to be "internal" one has to remain in the country. Blair is hardly ever here, sadly not because he's been kicked out as an embarrassing disgrace but because he can make more money in other places. That kind of exile is usually called "tax exile", though depending on whether we have a double taxation agreement with Israel as well as with the USA it's probably just "financial exile" in his case.

(I wouldn't want to give the impression that Mr Blair only prefers to live abroad because they pay him more. They also shower him with worthless "honours", name every male child in the country after him, declare him a god.... you name it, someone will have found an ego-boosting Blair-attractant to tempt him to visit their tinpot dictatorship. Because the only thing Tony Blair values more highly than money is Tony Blair.)

Anyway, tiring of the disinclination of Britain's media to kow-tow to every loony pronouncement from the Great Mouth ("I mean, look here, you've got to believe Iran is an enormous threat to Britain, what with its crazy dictator and its nuclear weapons. I mean, I said just the same things about Iraq. None of the inspectors found any WMDs there either, but I was right, wasn't I, because Saddam was nasty and I didn't like him. So we - well, you, obviously, because my role is to be important and issue commands - have to invade Iran and remove this wicked tyrant that I don't like. Mel Phillips agrees with me! Why are you all going away? I'm IMPORTANT, I tell you! I used to be a politician!....") Uncle Jimmy has started a brand new blog, The Feral Press. (Because the only kind of press Jimmy likes is the compliant government-controlled kind.) No doubt it will prove as much of a hoot as his original blog. Perhaps I should start a book on how long it will take for the "Asians/Muslims/terror suspects aren't REALLY British like me" line to make its way over to the new site.

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