Eine Kleine Nichtmusik

Witty and pertinent observations on matters of great significance OR Incoherent jottings on total irrelevancies OR Something else altogether OR All of the above

Friday, April 09, 2010

Does he think we're all as stupid as he is?

From Tony Blair's website:

"And so we are off again. My sixth election, three won two lost, and I am determined this one makes it four-two. "

In what sense his sixth election? Blair was born in 1953, so the first general election he voted in will have been the same as mine, the February 1974 one. Since then we've had the second 1974 election, then 1979, 1983, 1987, 1992, 1997, 2001, 2005 and now 2010. So it's his tenth as a voter. Not that then. He joined the Labour party in 1975, so it's his eighth as a party member. Not that either. Discounting his first attempt at entering parliament, when he lost his deposit in the Beaconsfield by-election, he stood for Sedgefield six times in general elections and was elected in all of them. Not his personal election record then - and in any case Blair is not standing for election in 2010. (So never mind "sixth" - in what possible sense is this "his" election?) The six general elections he did fight divide into three lost and three won, so not that either. He fought three (all won) as party leader.

So we are forced to one of two conclusions. Either Tony Blair is incapable of counting up to six (or can't be bothered to count the ones where he was merely a constituency MP so makes wild guesses); or yet again he is simply incapable of telling the truth even when there is no advantage to lying. It only took eight words to reach the first easily-checked lie. Impressive, eh? Remember, this wasn't some interviewer putting him on the spot where he had to come up with a figure instantly: it's his own website.

And Uncle Jimmy wants to know why the media are ignoring Blair's plans to have a safari holiday in Africa, and haven't been falling over themselves to do puff headlines about Big Political Beasts? Well, mostly because they correctly figure nobody gives a stuff where a grasping self-publicist has-been spends his holidays. I suppose it would be newsworthy if he is paying for it himself for once and not going as the guest of some arms-dealer pal or other. (Does anyone know? Or is it all hidden in his dozens of shell accounts?) But if it's easy headlines Jimmy wants, how about these?

If you follow elephants you have to keep a look out for gigantic turds

You can never have too much rhino if you're Tony Blair

Another lion performance from Blair


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