Eine Kleine Nichtmusik

Witty and pertinent observations on matters of great significance OR Incoherent jottings on total irrelevancies OR Something else altogether OR All of the above

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The English Reformation for Dummies

One of my wife's students remarked on Facebook to the effect that studying the English Reformation was making her brain hurt. Never one to desert a damsel in distress (especially not a damsel whose profile picture shows her in a skimpy top and a policeman's helmet) , I proferred the suggestion below, which seems to have acquired a small fan base among her fellow students. If it's good enough for them it's good enough for you.

The English Reformation For Dummies
  1. Dear Pope, please can I have an annulment of my marriage to Kath coz she's boring and hasn't produced me a prince? Luv Hal
  2. Dear Henry, f*** off. Luv, Signor Papa
  3. Dear Pope, Okely-dokely, here's how it's gonna be: I'm starting my own church, and it's going to be a Protestant one like Martin Luther's, ...only in English. Get that, Luigi? ENG-ER-LISH! Then I can get me a D.I.V.O.R.C.E. Oh, and in case any priestly types get in the way, I'm making myself head of this church so I can fire them. Not you - me. ME. Ner-ner-ner-ner-ner!
  4. King to lackies: now I’m head of the proper Church of Me, any Catholic who bears allegiance to the Pope is highly suspicious and we should probably be arresting them all on suspicion of belonging to al-Vaticana . But hey, live and let live, but let live without all the huge fortunes they've built up. Of you go and dispossess all those rich bastard abbots: squeeze them till the Popes squeak. Hahaha! Geddit?
  5. But sire.....(sound of axe)
  6. The King is dead!
  7. It's OK son. we'll look after the kingdom for you, Just sign here. Right - Catholic churches made illegal and Queen Mary cut out of the succession. Go CofE!
  8. Cough....cough....coughcoughcough...silence.
  9. Hail Queen Mary!
  10. Bugger.
  11. Crackcracklecrackle. OWWWWW!
  12. Nobody here but us loyal Catholics, Your Majesty.
  13. Congratulations, Your Majesty, they've named a cocktail after you.
  14. The Queen is dead!
  15. Nobody here but us loyal Anglicans, Your Majesty.
  16. Damned right I'm the head of the church. And the look and feel I want for it is sort of Catholic-Lite, capisce?
  17. (MUCH later) I'm so fed up I could just die.
  18. Your Majesty? Your Majesty?
  19. Beam yersel doon, Scottie.


At 19 May, 2009 21:18, Blogger JoeinVegas said...

OH, thanks for the easy to understand version.

At 24 October, 2014 08:39, Blogger oakleyses said...

michael kors, nike roshe, michael kors pas cher, nike free pas cher, polo ralph lauren, nike blazer, sac burberry, air jordan, hollister, longchamp, nike trainers, nike roshe run, vanessa bruno, vans pas cher, north face, timberland, louis vuitton, longchamp, sac longchamp, oakley pas cher, ray ban sunglasses, hollister, michael kors, ray ban pas cher, polo lacoste, nike huarache, barbour, new balance pas cher, sac louis vuitton, sac hermes, nike roshe run, vans shoes, sac guess, mulberry, nike free, mac cosmetics, abercrombie and fitch, lululemon, louboutin, air max, air force, louis vuitton uk, hogan outlet, converse pas cher, north face, nike tn, ralph lauren, hollister, sac louis vuitton, nike air max

At 24 October, 2014 08:43, Blogger oakleyses said...

hollister clothing store, north face outlet, valentino shoes, air max, soccer jerseys, lululemon outlet, abercrombie and fitch, uggs outlet, moncler, moncler, nfl jerseys, jimmy choo outlet, new balance shoes, celine handbags, giuseppe zanotti, rolex watches, chi flat iron, ugg pas cher, mont blanc, herve leger, canada goose jackets, wedding dresses, canada goose, canada goose, moncler, bottega veneta, canada goose uk, babyliss pro, mcm handbags, baseball bats, ghd, ferragamo shoes, ugg australia, soccer shoes, canada goose, p90x, birkin bag, canada goose outlet, ugg boots, instyler, ugg, beats by dre, ugg boots, asics running shoes, north face jackets, iphone 6 cases, moncler outlet, reebok outlet, marc jacobs, insanity workout

At 24 October, 2014 08:47, Blogger oakleyses said...

tiffany and co, polo ralph lauren outlet, louboutin shoes, louis vuitton outlet, louboutin outlet, kate spade handbags, air max, michael kors outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, louis vuitton outlet stores, nike shoes, louboutin, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses cheap, longchamp handbags, chanel handbags, kate spade outlet, michael kors outlet, true religion jeans, oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton, coach factory outlet, michael kors outlet, nike free, christian louboutin shoes, prada outlet, michael kors outlet, burberry outlet, tiffany and co, coach purses, burberry outlet, true religion jeans, ray ban sunglasses, prada handbags, michael kors outlet, coach outlet store online, louis vuitton handbags, tory burch outlet, air max, gucci outlet, jordan shoes, longchamp outlet, louis vuitton outlet, coach outlet, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, longchamp handbags


Post a Comment

<< Home